Friday, June 5, 2009
I am blessed
I love my life, and I'm not going to apologize anymore. Because its nothing I have accomplished, but what God has accomplished in me. You see, Paulo and I wanted a baby for 4.5 years. I was working, but I wanted to be at home, chasing a toddler, cleaning the house, baking cookies. And then I got pregnant, and I was sooooo excited!! It was really going to happen. But while on bedrest, my mind started running, and I started to get worried. I've waited so long for this - what if I don't like it? What if I get a baby that I can't love? Yes - I really thought that. That whole "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it" started running rampant in my brain. Instead of praying and trusting God, I started making up scenarios. Flash forward 20 months.....I LOVE MY LIFE!! I love being a mom. I feel like I am finally fulfilling God's purpose for my life. And being a mom to a boy has made me a better wife and a homemaker. I was terrified to have a baby girl, cause I didn't want to put all my "baggage" on her. But I realize having a boy is just as challenging because I need to be a good role model for him. So now I embrace making my husband's coffee and meals and getting his laundry done and folded (still working on that whole putting it away part - baby steps). I'm tired of feeling guilty about it and feeling bad that I can state with confidence "I'm a housewife". And I'm tired of the question "Don't you get bored?" If anyone thinks being at home would be boring, then they obviously have a maid, a chef, a personal shopper, and they don't have one single hobby or interest in the world. There is ALWAYS something to do - if its not the house chores, or playing with my boy, then its my own stuff to do - like blogging, or reading a book, or uploading and ordering pics, or just enjoying a cup of tea on a beautiful early summer evening out on my porch. And that whole "careful what you wish for"? Well, I'm not exactly baking cookies, but I make a mean casserole. And I still have a ways to go on being a better housekeeper - like I'm supposed to be cleaning right now and instead I'm blogging. But I have mastered the laundry routine finally. And am I chasing a very, VERY active toddler? You betcha....but the best part? I get a big hug and kiss when I catch him!!