Thursday, November 19, 2009

Things that make you go hmmmmmm....

One of the most surprising things about being a parent actually doesn't have as much to do with parenting as it does with personal growth and development.  Paulo and I had Thomas when we were both 35 years old.  We'd both complete 4 yr college degrees, did a bit of travelling, had esteablished careers, set up house, and lived quite a bit.  So we thought we knew who we are and what we were about. 

Then this tiny little person comes into your world and takes over everything.  As you make your way through the first few sleepless months and you live from one feeding to the next, you think you're doing okay and things are going well.  You teach him how to smile and laugh, you give lots of love and hugs, you chatter away and engage with this little person.

At about a year, I started to realize - am I really who I thought I was?  Am I really who I want to be?  It now becomes so important because I need to not just teach my child, but to model it to him.  I don't want to be the parent who says "Do as I say, not as I do".  I want to actually live according to what I preach. 

So its been an eye opening few months for me.  I've started to ralize things about myself that I never would have believed were true.  Like, after all those years of going out and being busy and being part of the gang, I actually prefer to be a home body!!!  Well, knock me over with a feather, I would have NEVER thought would be me.  But these days I'm very content staying home with my boys (big and small). 

I heard a sermon last winter when visiting a church.  The pastor preached that "Our passions dictate our priorities".  I've been stewing on that theme for a looong time now, and its really start to resonate with me.  As my priorities are shifting, I'm starting to see what my passions are. 

This is a really fun journey.  I'm enjoying the process, not just the end results.  And I hope I'm becoming more and more my true self - who God really created me to be. 

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