Sunday, September 26, 2010

So much

There is so much going on these days. 

I have so much to do.

I have so much to say. 

I've got so many thoughts running through my head.

Start the laundry.  Make the food shopping list.   Actually go food shopping.  Call the gas company.  Read Thomas a book.  Clean the bathrooms.  Switch out the wardrobes for our cozy clothes.  Play a game with Thomas.  Plan menus for the next 2 weeks.  Unload the dishwasher.  Cook dinner.  Teach Thomas today's homeschool lesson (yes, you read that right).  Read my book that is already past due at the library.  Get to the library. 

And of course, I have the "other stuff" to deal with that I still cannot talk about here (though soon, I promise). 

But with all that is going on these days, things are good.  For two very specific reasons.

FIRST - I'm tuning out the white noise.  I'm taking a break.  A break from listening to all the opinions of the world - both MY world and THE world.  A break from the guilt of the things I "should be doing".  A break from keeping up with the social calendar.  Its time to focus on my family and on God.  Those are the ONLY two entities I serve, thank you very much. 

SECOND - I am being more intentional.  When I'm playing with Thomas, I focus on him and what we are doing - not on the list of chores I need to get to.  And when I'm doing the laundry - I focus on that, so it gets done quickly and correctly and then I can go back to Thomas.  And when I'm cleaning the kitchen for the 4th and final time of the day, I focus on that so I get it done right - rather than half hearted and start the next day off on a bad foot because I didn't bother to get it done right the first time.  

And when I'm reading a book with Thomas - that book that we've already read 52 times this week, I give it my full attention and my best voices, so that he knows I'm engaged with him, and not just going through the motions, and checking him and my "motherly duties" off my list. 

Being intentional as I go through my day is new for me.  Sure, I've heard about it, I've even tried it once or twice, but I've never been able to put it into practice.  I am still very much a work in progress, but I am quite comfortable with it at the moment.  I used to think it would be too hard and take too much effort, whereas now, I actually find it easier than the alternative - brain two steps ahead of physical body - and it is actually helping me keep my sanity through everything. 

Originally I had started the year with all my goals relating to the theme of "nourish".  Well, as they say, if you want to make God laugh, just make plans.  Which I did.  And HE laughed.  And then He laid out His plans for us. "Nourish" has now evolved to "being intentional".  In the end, I will still be nourished, but by way of a totally different path. 

And for that I am thankful.

Thursday, September 16, 2010