YES YES YES!!!
Well, that is if I get us packed. 've been frantically packing for 3 days now while Paulo frantically finishes what he can at the new house. Of course, there will still be some items left to take care of the first few weeks - the upper cabinets in the kitchen, closet doors, new front door, hang curtains, etc etc. And there will still be
But the time is finally here. I won't be posting pics for a few weeks so please bear with me. I'd like to get the curtains hung and some of the finishing touches done before I post the final after pics. Believe me - it will be well worth the wait.
Yes - I'm behind on project life. But really, I'm behind on life in general. Its all coming together - just a few more weeks of chaos. But a new chaos - like the whirlwind wonderful chaos that comes with unpacking and settling into a wonderful new home.
I'm going to bear my soul right now. I think the reason I put off packing is that I've been in a state of disbelief a along. It took forever for the purchase of the house to go through, then the reno project kept getting longer and we pushed the moving date back so many times that I got myself into a place of disbelief. I feel like I don't deserve this house. We've handpicked everything, its too nice, its too perfect for us - why do I deserve this?
This is a pattern for me. The same thing happened on my wedding day 8 years ago. Much to everyone's surprise, I "freaked out" that day. Throughout the day, going through the motions - hair, make-up, dress, photos - the more it set in "this is really going to happen, I really am going to marry the man of my dreams". And I was a wreck. Because, for some reason, deep down, I was prepared for disappointment, for set back, for something to happen that would call it all off.
Then we went through the years and heartache of infertility. When I finally had our perfect, beautiful, miracle boy, it took about 2 years for me to finally feel comfortable that he is ours, here to stay. I had to remind myself every night when I put him to bed - "it's okay - he'll be here tomorrow too. You'll get to do this all over again tomorrow, and every day after that". I actually had to tell myself that each and every night.
So now here I am again - doubting, second guessing, prepared for disappointment. But that's not going to happen.
We're actually going to live there - in that house.
The house that we picked.
And made our own.
And will make our own...every day....for years to come.
Thank you God. There are no other words than that - Thank you God.